Just nu söker UNICEF en hälsospecialist till konfliktområden i
Afghanistan. I tjänsten ingår bland annat att massvaccinera miljontals
barn mot stelkramp, polio och mässling.
Jag skulle gärna ta mig an uppdraget, men då jag inte har möjlighet att göra detta själv så publicerar jag den här bloggposten istället. Då vaccinerar jag
nämligen 95 barn runtom i världen mot stelkramp tillsammans med Apotek
Hjärtat.
Jag är med UNICEF i kampen för varenda unge. Vill du också vara med och förändra barns liv? Bli Världsförälder här: unicef.se/bli-varldsforalder. För 100 kronor i månaden är du med och ser till att barn över hela världen får vaccin, medicin, rent vatten och utbildning.
Har du en blogg och vill vaccinera ytterligare 95 barn? För varje
bloggare som publicerar den här bloggposten mellan 16 april och 13 maj
så skänker Apotek Hjärtat 95 stelkrampsvaccin. Läs mer och hämta
bloggmaterial på unicef.se/sprid-budskapet/bloggkampanj
I didn't think we would have this problem until August, which is the time of the year when all insects usually invades our house. As an animal lover it's not okay to kill any kind of animals, the only exception is of course when they become a big problem. I have had a lot of patience but now it has unfortunately gone too far. We have a major ant invasion in the kitchen which my dad is going to take care of sometime this week. I have already had to kill several of them. I truly hate it. Can't remember when I killed an insect the last time but it was years ago (if you don't count the injured ones). Poor little ants...
My parents are visiting my sister this weekend. Her birthday is in a week so my parents brought along some presents to her from me! I think I know her style pretty well so I bought her two sweaters and one tank top. And what do you know, she had seen one of those sweaters in a store not long ago and had wanted to buy it. Well now she don't have to!
I can't wait for tonight when my friend Sofie is coming over for dinner! I rarely get to invite my friends over like this, so I am seizing the opportunity. It's not that my parents mind that I have friends over, it's just kind of hard to have a private dinner and a movie night with them running around. It was fine when I was 13 but it's only annoying when you're 21, haha...
Heads up... on the 30th of March the album "F*ck cancer" is released! It's a compilation album with tracks from several Swedish rock bands. The album was put together with one purpose, to raise money for Barncancerfonden (The Swedish Childhood Cancer Foundation). I think this is a beautiful way to bring people together to help others who are simply too young to die. You can pre-order your copy at Bengans, Ginza and CDON right now!
01. Corroded - I Am Your Saviour
02. Sonic Syndicate - Burn This City
03. Sparzanza - Rebel Yell
04. Katana - Pheonix On Fire
05. Osukaru - Tear It Down
06. Mean Streak - Brothers til the End
07. Roxie77 - Gimme Some Grove
08. The Quill - Full Circle
09. Man.Machine.Industri - Knuckle-Duster
10. April Divine - #1 (No.One)
11. Black Creed - Natural Born
12. Crucified Barbara - Jennyfer
13. The Citadel - Heaven
14. Fretless - Stand & Deliever
15. Lillasyster - Så Jävla Bra
16. Mary Fay - The End
17. Moonshine Avenue - Lonely Blues
¤ The worst pickup line I've ever gotten is "What is evil to you?"...
¤ I was named after the character Caroline in the soap opera The bold and the beautiful... dear lord....
Caroline & Ridge
¤ I'm not particularly fond of people who make a debate out of exactly everything.
¤ As a child I flushed my favourite pair of shorts down the toilet because I was pissed off at my parents. Well guess who ended up being the most upset about losing those Winne the Pooh-shorts?
This day has barely started and I feel like I have gotten SO much done already! Considering I haven't slept at all and kind of feel like I'm in a zombie mode, it was amazing that I managed to get up at 6 o clock and drive to the pre-school. We have an assignment coming up in school where I have to interview one of the pre-school teachers. She gave me some really good answers to my questions so I've got plenty of material! Plus it was really nice seeing the kids again. That is always the best part about going there. And I just blend in like normal, the kids immediately see me as the grown up who is in charge. I didn't stay longer than for half an hour though, because they were getting ready to go outside.
Despite being exhausted I actually made a quick decision to park my car next to an old forrest that I have a lot of memories from. I don't know how many times I ran around in there as a kid. I had my camera with me so I walked around taking photos. I can't believe how peaceful it was. That is the only thing I don't like about living in the city, because there is no way that you can find a peaceful place like that there. A place where you can stand in silence, just listening to four different kinds of birds singing, leaves blowing, trees squeeking, twigs breaking... I felt like I was on a 30 minute long vacation. Came home as a brand new me!
So. I have found this guy online who has several quite popular YouTube channels. And I haven't felt like I could relate to someone as much as I have in the last couple of days when I have been going through his videos. His real name is Greg but his nickname is Onision. I am posting these videos today because they made such a strong impact on me. A couple of weeks ago (and now and then) I went through a hard time where I felt like no one wanted to be around me, that everything I did was wrong, that there was just something strange going on and I had no idea why. I felt like the black sheep in my family as well in my circle of friends. I had no idea what to do. I only wish that I had found Greg's videos sooner so that I wouldn't have felt so damn alone at that time. But now I know they exist in case it ever happens again...
In this video Greg talks about this brutally difficult feeling of not knowing why you are so lonely. It's hard just knowing that something is making it hard for people to like you or want to hang out with you. Sometimes you need to stick up for yourself and for what you believe in, which is what I had done a few weeks ago. And I guess that is what Greg had done too. But for some reason we were dragged down in the dirt for it. People didn't speak up about it, they just disappeared. When I felt like I had done what I thought was right, they probably thought something else. But I hate not speaking up when something is wrong. It's not easy going against your friends and their believes. But sometimes you've just got to be true to yourself.
And here is the feeling of it all. Emptiness. And hate. You can't function without your friends and loved ones. You feel disgusted wth yourself, but you don't know why. And you start questioning everything.
And there is that part about relationships. When something goes wrong and you end up looking like an insane person. The only difference is that most of us don't film it and post it up on YouTube. But I am so happy that Greg did this because it made me realize that I am not the only one who has these crazy moments. Those moments where I wonder if I'll ever stop obsessing and be okay again. But it is just like he says. If you get into a relationship in the wrong way from the beginning, then this is what ends up happening. And it's so stupid because it would make perfect sense to just say "You know what, this person is really bad for me, let's move on with life". But how can you move on when you miss them SO much? So much that you even consider contacting them to say you're sorry and take back everything that you said, even though you deep down inside stand for every single word.
In whatever situation you may be in, you always end up questioning yourself. Maybe that is the point though? Maybe the point is to break down those walls you have built around your heart to protect yourself and start to realize that YOU may be the problem? I guess this has both a good side and a really bad one. It's good to learn from your mistakes and be aware of who you are as a person, but this thought can turn into self loading. Which it did for me a couple of weeks ago. I honestly asked one of my best friends "Am I the one who is fucked up? Seriously. I must be an insane, psychopathic person to act like this.". She told me that it was nonsense but I didn't let go of that thought for some time.
Am I an addict? I don't like those moments when I am being called "desperate" by some people just because I want someone to love, who loves me back. And when I don't go for every guy I like, then I am suddenly "picky". Well yeah. Of course I am. How could you not be picky about finding someone to spend at least a couple of years with? Why would you just throw yourself into something that probably won't last more than a month? Do you know how many heartbreaks that is in a year?
"I don't want to be one of those people who only looks at the positives and forgets all of the negative, when the negative is so overwhelming. As long as I remember, I won't go back." - Onision
I saw Whitney Houston's beautiful funeral ceremony a couple of days ago. It made me think about Michael. And Michael made me think about Heath. Which made me want to see every single Heath Ledger-movie I have. Starting with 10 things I hate about you....
I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me ryhme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
"While newspapers and television talk about the lives of celebrities, the chief of the Kayapo tribe received the worst news of his life: Dilma, "The new president of Brazil, has given approval to build a huge hydroelectric plant (the third largest in the world). It is the death sentence for all the people near the river because the dam will flood 400,000 hectares of forest. More than 40,000 Indians will have to find another place to live. The natural habitat destruction, deforestation and the disappearance of many species is a fact."
What moves me in my very bowels , making me ashamed of being part of Western culture, is the reaction of the chief of the Kayapo community when he learned of the decision—his gesture of dignity and helplessness before the advance of capitalist progress, modern predatory civilization that does not respect the differences. But we know that a picture is worth a thousand words, showing the reality of the true price of our bourgeois "quality of life". -quote from a member on Facebook
This breaks my heart.
I am so sick and tired of society ruining these people's lives!! It started hundred of years ago and still hasn't stopped. A couple of weeks ago there was some journalist who got really close to an Indian tribe in Peru and they started shooting arrows at him. They are one of the last uncontacted tribes on Earth so the newscasters calls it a "tremendous accomplishment" to get this close to them. Why!? Because you got close to people who wants to be left alone? Get real.
I do what I can to preserve all of the beautiful and natural things that this Earth has provided for us. But these tribes do it all the way. They protect nature with their lives. How can some people be so incredibly disrespectful and greedy that they intrude on these people's lives, just so that they can take pictures of them? Leave them alone. Open your eyes and realize that we should all live after their example. Appreciate the fact that trees gives us the possibility to breathe. Stop cutting them down!
And all of this unnecessary killing of bugs! Our ego tells us that we are the only ones with feelings, that we are the only ones with relationships and families. But I think that if you kill a spider, there IS a relationship that you are ruining. If a fly gets into my house I always do my best to get it out, it's not like the fly knows it's not supposed to be there. I'm not saying that I am braver than anybody else, I can't pick up a spider in my hand and put it outside. But I find other solutions to it than to just run away screaming! Seriously people, think of the advantage you have here. You're huge and the spider is tiny. Just use a paper or whatever to get it out. Just don't kill it. If you just look at a spider web... I mean, that is magnificent to me! Look at a spider web and see what they can do, look at a birds nest and see what that is...
My people, some of them have run away to the hills and have no shelter.
No food, no one knows where they are,
Hear me my chiefs, I am tired.
Few songs make me relax more than "San Fransisco (be sure to wear some flowers in your hair" by Scott Mckenzie. The first time I heard it was on a language trip I took to Malta in 2005. We danced the nights away to an upbeat version of it. It fits my mood even better now when I'm reading the book "Confessions of a groupie" by Pamela des Barres who was one of the flower power teenagers in the 60's. She describes with such wonderful details how free her life was back then, since not a lot of things were considered dangerous. People sat on the streets of Sunset Strip getting high, listening to groovy music and putting flowers in each others hair...
"Pandora's box, the ultimate rock club of the moment, was being torn down to make way for a wider road and a three-way turn signal, and WE, the patrons of the purple palace, were not going to stand for it. In fact, we sat down on Sunset Boulevard and wouldn't budge. I found something to believe in and was so proud of being on a mission to enlighten the world. I felt like I belonged, united with a thousand other kids, protesting what THEY were doing to US. At last I was surrounded by my own kind. I watched as gorgeous Hollywood boys overturned a bus, and I cheered on the offenders from my warm spot on the Sunset Boulevard blacktop. I gazed at Sonny and Cher, arms wrapped around each other, wearing matching polka-dot bell-bottoms and fake-fur vests, and realized we were all one perfect hip force with one big huge beating heart. I held hands with strangers and tried to recapture the moment before it had even passed." - Pamela des Barres
"Study me as much as you like, you will never know me, for I differ a hundred ways from what you see me to be. Put yourself behind my eyes, and see me as I see myself, for I have chosen to dwell in a place you cannot see."
What does people regret the most when they are lying on their deathbeds? An Australian nurse named Bonnie Ware used to talk to dying patients about this subject and felt like their answers needed to be passed forward. She ended up writing a book called "The Top Five Regrets of The Dying" and that is now triggering thoughts all over the world. The number one thing that people regretted was that they hadn't followed their dreams. Instead they had been listening too much to what their friends and families thought they should and should not do. Some also said that they had lived a certain way of life just because they were expected to do so by society. The most common answer among men was that they deeply regretted working so hard. Many of them had missed out on big parts of their children's lives and hadn't spent enough time with their wives.
A lot of people were bitter because they hadn't had the courage to stand up for themselves and the result of that had been a medioker life. They had been so scared of ruining the harmonious spirit in their household that they thought that some changes would ruin it all. Because of this, they hadn't allowed themselves to be truly happy. They had forgotten that happiness is a choice, not something that is anywhere near pretending being pleased and concent.
These are the five things that they, after all of these years, finally realised. I won't be one of them. I refuse to. In one week I am going to London which is just one of the choices that I have made in my life to fulfill my dreams, to feel true passion and love for life. Money is sometimes an issue when you want to fulfill your dreams, but my advice is to focuse on some other dream while you wait! Just pick and choose from the dreambox that I know you have. One dream doesn't have to rule out the other. One part of me wants to rock my soul out to gigs and stay up all night. Just once in a while though, because the other part of me wants to stay healthy, exercise and make sure that I do good in school. Because without good grades I'll never be a kindergarten teacher. It all has to match. Don't waste your life away by becoming an alcoholic, but don't be a overachiever either. Find the balance. That beautiful harmony between work and life that these people were missing on their deathbeds. Let us learn from their mistakes.
Me and my lil sis
Don't ever forget to feel pure joy like this, even when you are an adult.
I tried my hardest to avoid it all day. I have been struggling on the inside to stay positive and strong. But now I can not be okay anymore. I finally let depression grab ahold of me and it's the best thing I have done all day. There's just been too many small things going wrong, whatever I've said I have been misunderstood, whatever I have done it's been useless. Nothing will ever be so bad that I will let depression drown me, because.... well, been there done that. Never again. But staying strong for longer periods of time doesn't work in the long run. Sometimes I just need to break down and let myself feel whatever it is that I am feeling. Because I need to deal with it. And to my friends; whatever it is that I am complaining about, please don't make excuses for me.
The weather has been beautiful for the last couple of days, lots of sun which has gotten me motivated to start taking power walks again. Soaking up all the vitamin D that I can! Other than that I usually just stay inside doing my dancing routines. My favourite kind of work out... it has been that way for 10 years and probably always will be :) Linus new dance school Edge Dance Studios recently opened here in Västerås and I am so happy and proud that he made it happen. When the whole drama with our last dance school was over, I was planning on starting at Edge Dance Studios. But something is telling me that I need to move on and develop my interest. So me and Anna will within a few weeks try on Fitness pole dancing.... haha oh yeah, I can't wait!!
It's apparently anything-can-happen Sunday so I started watching Glee. Yeah... Glee. And lord help me, I actually like it! I have seen the "Umbrella/Singing in the rain" routine before on YouTube and thought it was awesome. But I asumed that the rest of it was pretty much like High school musical but it really isn't. So I have some catching up to do, starting with season 1!... "Chicks don't have prostates... I looked it up!" haha...
It has been a while since I've written a proper post in here. But I am so busy dealing with life and trying to make positive changes, so I think that needs to come first... :)
It feels great erasing people who are bad for you, just cutting them out of your life because they are feeding you negative energy. The thought of London is what motivates me to keep on going with school, life and just everything. 2½ weeks left to go and we are all stoked about it!! I really do need another short vacation to meet friends and forget all of my worries.
Looking forward to getting a little crazy again.
And if it doesn't happen, then we'll always have Paris...
