Onision about a desperate broken heart

So. I have found this guy online who has several quite popular YouTube channels. And I haven't felt like I could relate to someone as much as I have in the last couple of days when I have been going through his videos. His real name is Greg but his nickname is Onision. I am posting these videos today because they made such a strong impact on me. A couple of weeks ago (and now and then) I went through a hard time where I felt like no one wanted to be around me, that everything I did was wrong, that there was just something strange going on and I had no idea why. I felt like the black sheep in my family as well in my circle of friends. I had no idea what to do. I only wish that I had found Greg's videos sooner so that I wouldn't have felt so damn alone at that time. But now I know they exist in case it ever happens again...

In this video Greg talks about this brutally difficult feeling of not knowing why you are so lonely. It's hard just knowing that something is making it hard for people to like you or want to hang out with you. Sometimes you need to stick up for yourself and for what you believe in, which is what I had done a few weeks ago. And I guess that is what Greg had done too. But for some reason we were dragged down in the dirt for it. People didn't speak up about it, they just disappeared. When I felt like I had done what I thought was right, they probably thought something else. But I hate not speaking up when something is wrong. It's not easy going against your friends and their believes. But sometimes you've just got to be true to yourself.

And here is the feeling of it all. Emptiness. And hate. You can't function without your friends and loved ones. You feel disgusted wth yourself, but you don't know why. And you start questioning everything.

And there is that part about relationships. When something goes wrong and you end up looking like an insane person. The only difference is that most of us don't film it and post it up on YouTube. But I am so happy that Greg did this because it made me realize that I am not the only one who has these crazy moments. Those moments where I wonder if I'll ever stop obsessing and be okay again. But it is just like he says. If you get into a relationship in the wrong way from the beginning, then this is what ends up happening. And it's so stupid because it would make perfect sense to just say "You know what, this person is really bad for me, let's move on with life". But how can you move on when you miss them SO much? So much that you even consider contacting them to say you're sorry and take back everything that you said, even though you deep down inside stand for every single word.
In whatever situation you may be in, you always end up questioning yourself. Maybe that is the point though? Maybe the point is to break down those walls you have built around your heart to protect yourself and start to realize that YOU may be the problem? I guess this has both a good side and a really bad one. It's good to learn from your mistakes and be aware of who you are as a person, but this thought can turn into self loading. Which it did for me a couple of weeks ago. I honestly asked one of my best friends "Am I the one who is fucked up? Seriously. I must be an insane, psychopathic person to act like this.". She told me that it was nonsense but I didn't let go of that thought for some time.

Am I an addict? I don't like those moments when I am being called "desperate" by some people just because I want someone to love, who loves me back. And when I don't go for every guy I like, then I am suddenly "picky". Well yeah. Of course I am. How could you not be picky about finding someone to spend at least a couple of years with? Why would you just throw yourself into something that probably won't last more than a month? Do you know how many heartbreaks that is in a year?

"I don't want to be one of those people who only looks at the positives and forgets all of the negative, when the negative is so overwhelming. As long as I remember, I won't go back." - Onision

Walk Off The Earth

I am almost two months behind on this. But tonight I discovered this fantastic video!!! Walk Off The Earth is a five-piece music phenomena that are just too good to ignore. Check out this brilliant 5-people-playing-one-guitar interpretation of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know". Impressed? Of course you are.

Swan Hellion UK interview

When we were in the UK, my friends Alma and Lou took the opportunity to interview Swan. This was the day after the gig so most people in our gang were on their way home. And some did like Me and Charlotte... crashed in our hotel room. Two days of partying was all we could take :P

The ladies did a great job so I suggest you take a look!

4 things you probably didn’t know about me

¤ Cirque du Soleil makes me cry (in a good way).

¤ I suffer from Pagophagia. But I can’t really say that I am suffering, because ice is the best snack in the whole wide world :P

¤ I hate it when people can’t tell the difference between weather and seasons. It ain’t winter just because it’s snowing.

¤ I’ve got hitchhiker's thumbs.

I hate the way I don't hate you

I saw Whitney Houston's beautiful funeral ceremony a couple of days ago. It made me think about Michael. And Michael made me think about Heath. Which made me want to see every single Heath Ledger-movie I have. Starting with 10 things I hate about you....

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me ryhme

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry

I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. 

Song Ananau

Had a really good time in London. It was like a mini-vacation. I had to have a couple of days with no stress, it did me good! Although after sleeping in a freezing room for three nights and then taking a power walk for several hours just to try and find a bar on a late Monday evening, I of course came home with a cold. Don't really have the strength right now to sum up my trip, so for now... enjoy this beautiful song.

Ananau, ananau nispaniwashkanky
ñuqallapiñam chay ñawiky.
Ananau, ananau nispaniwashkanky
wiñaypaqchum ñuqa qawasqaiky
May runallam kakuchkanky
kaycunallapy waqanaypaq.
Wañuptyqa ñakawanky
munanichu chay pasayta.

What a pain, what a pain, causes what you are telling me.
With your eyes above me.
What a pain, what a pain, causes what you are saying me.

Will I always see you?
What a man do you think I am?
That I cry in this place?
When I die, you would suffer.
But I dont want that to happen.

Sigurdsgatan 25 fyller 5 år!

Sigurdsgatan 25 in Västerås are celebrating their 5th anniversary on the 2nd of March!!

Roxie77, Lillasyster and Mother Misery will be playing. A great night that you don't want to miss!

To buy tickets in advance: http://www.tickster.com/sv/events/pnwcty1fh8x039b

I hope that this image travels the world

"While newspapers and television talk about the lives of celebrities, the chief of the Kayapo tribe received the worst news of his life: Dilma, "The new president of Brazil, has given approval to build a huge hydroelectric plant (the third largest in the world). It is the death sentence for all the people near the river because the dam will flood 400,000 hectares of forest. More than 40,000 Indians will have to find another place to live. The natural habitat destruction, deforestation and the disappearance of many species is a fact."
What moves me in my very bowels , making me ashamed of being part of Western culture, is the reaction of the chief of the Kayapo community when he learned of the decision—his gesture of dignity and helplessness before the advance of capitalist progress, modern predatory civilization that does not respect the differences. But we know that a picture is worth a thousand words, showing the reality of the true price of our bourgeois "quality of life". - quote from a member on Facebook

 This breaks my heart.

I am so sick and tired of society ruining these people's lives!! It started hundred of years ago and still hasn't stopped. A couple of weeks ago there was some journalist who got really close to an Indian tribe in Peru and they started shooting arrows at him. They are one of the last uncontacted tribes on Earth so the newscasters calls it a "tremendous accomplishment" to get this close to them. Why!? Because you got close to people who wants to be left alone? Get real.

I do what I can to preserve all of the beautiful and natural things that this Earth has provided for us. But these tribes do it all the way. They protect nature with their lives. How can some people be so incredibly disrespectful and greedy that they intrude on these people's lives, just so that they can take pictures of them? Leave them alone. Open your eyes and realize that we should all live after their example. Appreciate the fact that trees gives us the possibility to breathe. Stop cutting them down!

And all of this unnecessary killing of bugs! Our ego tells us that we are the only ones with feelings, that we are the only ones with relationships and families. But I think that if you kill a spider, there IS a relationship that you are ruining. If a fly gets into my house I always do my best to get it out, it's not like the fly knows it's not supposed to be there. I'm not saying that I am braver than anybody else, I can't pick up a spider in my hand and put it outside. But I find other solutions to it than to just run away screaming! Seriously people, think of the advantage you have here. You're huge and the spider is tiny. Just use a paper or whatever to get it out. Just don't kill it. If you just look at a spider web... I mean, that is magnificent to me! Look at a spider web and see what they can do, look at a birds nest and see what that is...

My people, some of them have run away to the hills and have no shelter.
No food, no one knows where they are,
Hear me my chiefs, I am tired.

My heart is sick and sad, I will fight no more.

Ever wanted to get guitar lessons from a rock star?

Play along music is a Swedish web site where you can learn how to play seven different instruments, singing and dance choreographies from teachers with plenty of experience. Through video uploads and sometimes even live webcams you'll be able to learn and to ask questions as you go. Janne Schaffer (one of Sweden's most well known guitar players) and Pontus Norgren (The Poodles, Hammerfall) are two of their guitar teachers and recently they just got a brand new teacher in the form of Ryan Roxie (Alice Cooper, Slash's Snakepit, Casablanca, Roxie77).

There are two different kinds of memberships.
1. Free membership means that you get access to the community, video chat and to the forum.
2. Gold membership gives you access to all of the video lessons and all other perks on the site. Such as feedback from the teachers, playalongs to play along to, new lessons every week, you can also upload your own videos! This costs between 69 SEK/month - 99 SEK/month.

To see a longer introduction of Ryan and of the other teachers click here. 

And don't forget to start your own membership!

Let me be the first to say I agree with this!

;)

Black Velvet if you please

The song "Black Velvet" from Alannah Myles's debut album became a worldwide hit in 1990 and it even won her a Grammy award. By that time, the 32 year old Alannah had already been a songwriter for 23 years! She has since then released four more albums and even competed in Melodifestivalen (Sweden's version of the Eurovision Song Contest) in 2005. In July 2011 Alannah said that after several chiropractic treatments she has suffered from severe spinal nerve damage and is now unable to move her head and neck. But she still does performances and records songs in the studio.

The boy could sing, knew how to move everything
Always wanting more, he'd leave you longing for
Black velvet and that little boy smile
Black velvet with that slow southern style
A new religion that'll bring her to your knees
~Black velvet if you please~

Blackrain and The Black Stars UK tour!

Don't really know what to do with myself right now...
I'm at home alone. My sister is visiting her boyfriend in the north of Sweden and my parents are at work. I woke up late because me and Sofie were in school at 2 o clock in the morning, haha. We finally handed in our assignment. It was a blast walking around in school in the middle of the night. Gotta do that again sometime... veeeery SPOOKY!!
So that is done, everything else is done, my plans for London are pretty much done...
The only thing I have on my agenda today is to get some exercise.

I'm starting to accept the fact that I won't be able to go to the Foxey gig in Stockholm. Don't have any money yet so something has got to go. Just sucks that it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I just want that night to be over so that I can forget the fact that I missed it. But right now my main focuse is London.
Can't wait to see the guys again! Swan, Max, Matt, Frank, Lou, Natasha, Allie and of course Charlotte who I'll be staying at the Bed & Breakfast with. We'll take the days as they come but we do have some plans to meet up before or after the gig and just hang out. Since we all come from different countries we don't get to see each other very often. Gotta take every chance we get! The guys will be playing on Monday and the rest of the time we'll enjoy everything London has to offer!